Alright, let’s talk about ditch weed—feral cannabis, the sad, scrappy ghost of America’s hemp obsession. Once upon a time, during World War II, the government was all in on hemp farming because ropes and textiles were apparently a national security issue. But then the war ended, industrial hemp got tossed aside like yesterday’s propaganda, and the plants just kept growing wherever they damn well pleased. That’s how we ended up with random patches of wild cannabis across the Midwest, including Minnesota.

Now, before anyone gets any ideas, let’s set the record straight: ditch weed is useless. It’s the botanical equivalent of a knockoff brand—sure, it looks the part, but it has zero of the qualities that make the real thing worth your time. The THC levels are so low you’d have better luck getting high off a bag of oregano. People who try to smoke it usually end up with nothing but a sore throat and disappointment.

In Minnesota, this stuff is all over the rural backroads, especially in the south and west where hemp farms used to be a thing. It’s not growing in neat little rows waiting for someone to stumble upon it like some kind of divine gift—it’s in ditches, tangled in weeds, and probably covered in dust from a passing tractor. The only people who care about it are local legends and the occasional idiot who still believes in free weed.

And here’s the kicker: ditch weed isn’t just bad for getting high, it’s bad for everything. No THC, barely any CBD, and none of the fancy cannabinoids that make cannabis valuable. Why? Because it’s descended from plants that were bred to make ropes, not to alter minds. It’s like trying to get drunk off near-beer—technically possible if you have nothing but time and zero self-respect, but mostly just a waste of effort.

UNTIL NOW… stay tuned.